Mental Health Blog for teens

There is so much…so much going on in this world. Sometimes I cannot focus or see clear! Thus, here I am, trying to find piece in the violence! It might be selfish of me, writing for myself and people who feel similar, and not about world changing matters! Thus, this Blog isn’t for you! It is for them! For the ones, who want to start over…again! And for me…the one…who forgot the meaning behind the words, and the substance between the sound!

I want to write a blog for teenagers and young adults who have suffered in their lives internally! Whatever you may call it… depression, anxiety, BPD issues or just unintentional screams inside one’s head! In the end…it breaks you thousand times, thus not once in a lifetime!

I hope I can share my story, and maybe bring value to some! I want to guide myself, even if I don’t know how to! I hope…one day I’ll know!

Who is edisluve Nina NN?

“I write poems. I write stories. I try to describe the unyielding feeling inside of me. It changes from time to time. I’m scared nobody will understand. That what is inside me; it’s the only one who ever felt the same. Nobody will ever feel exactly like me, I know. But what if I don’t even exist? It’s like I feel the complexity of my mind, but I choose to not use some part of it. I think I never scream; I never really cry. I just bleed out the things I find are special, but they slowly begin to get less. I am nearly tricked out; by them; and by my mind. Since when do I deal with us this way? When did I stop saying us? You are asleep. I am asleep. I want to wake up!”

I don’t really know who I am. Neither do I want to find out!

I know that there is no end to my story…no end to the journey…many mistake the thought of thinking there will be an ending, or an arrival. No, in my opinion it is an ongoing journey of life, and you either want to life in it, or not. I am not quite sure jet. Yes, life has given me great opportunities, but also ones that I hate life for!

What do I want in life?

All I want is… my kind of perfect. And that means not the “perfect” like the world might define a perfect human! In my opinion, perfect means to be in love with the rollercoaster of life!

Neither less the obstacles it gives you. I am scared of telling myself it is okay to feel the way I feel, because I still don’t want to be okay with feeling the way I feel! … Is that an issue? One day I might find out!

My Mental Health Story

What did my childhood story look like?

The world’s biggest fear is not dying, no…its surviving. In life you have to find your own passion. Or else your life would be a waste if you don’t do anything with it.

From a young age on I learned that I have to act like other people expect me to act. I didn’t go the way I wanted, no, I went the way I thought people wanted me to go. This leaded to me having hard issues creating my own opinion in my teens and having issues creating true and real emotional bonds.

Thus, I was always the kind who could reflect upon them very good. I always knew what was wrong with me. I always knew how to fix it.

I was the kind of making dozens of plans and mind maps on how to change my life, how to do things better and how to live. I always had a plan for everything, but I never completed it. Same as writing books. I always started writing an amazing story, which the beginning everyone complimented me on…. thus, the end never came to a finish. I went through allot during my young years.

Through bad mental health issues, a huge identity crisis and a long way of finding myself. But in the end only one thing mattered…this is the first time I am finishing a plan I made…it’s the first time I am doing something for myself and fulfilling my passion. I am starting to enjoy life.